Dedicated Purpose

If demonstration is all the teaching that is done there is a limited ability to truly learn. There are in fact visual learners but visual learners need an opportunity to demonstrate learning after being introduced to something new. Allowing them the chance to try it again, with patient instruction alongside. The richness of demonstration followed by repetition and willingness to correct as the failures occur. This is learning, this is failing forward. 

Some of the best teachers are the ones who understand this. The fortunate students or recipients are the ones that can be equipped with the ability to perform any task that they were given the ability to truly learn. For a student who was once ready to learn, the poor incomplete instruction leads to declining confidence, which can cause detachment and ultimately loss of opportunity. We often see this in math. The curriculum moves at its pace, and the students who need more time and instruction, often from poor teaching methods.. don’t get it. The deficiency can lie in the instruction/ teacher method. It is also moving fast and sometimes other factors are at play such as missing teaching or too much content/ fast pacing.

People carry with them beliefs of limitations on themselves which can be from a lack of opportunity to receive good teaching. Teaching and learning can be being given the ability to do it yourself with repetition and time, being allowed to make mistakes and try again. Not failing…Failing forward.

There’s no doubt that in this life, we’re going to have disagreements and contention points. Friendships, relationships, professional settings, and almost anywhere. There’s really no limit to the potential of conflict. In fact, people can stay in conflict all day long if they want to browsing the news, the stories, or getting involved in controversial posts on platforms.

At some point, it’s about preserving our own peace. For this entry today I am thinking more about relationships. There are people that will tell you that they’re good communicators and they may point out others that are not good at communicating at all. It’s even been said that men are not great at communication which when I hear this misconception, I think to myself… Not so fast!

Being willing to communicate often means being willing to listen. It doesn’t mean being willing to speak what’s on your mind. Anyone can do that, although not everyone does it carefully. The best communication is done with the intent of compromise and in the headspace of empathy (attempted or naturally). Being willing to listen and taking it a step further by being willing to understand. Listening to try to fully understand versus just listening so you can have your turn to share what’s on your mind.

And while I’m no expert on any of these things, it’s clear to me that if you want to avoid major conflict relationally, it’s important to know how to compromise and it’s important to be willing to listen.

And while it’s true the conflict may come first before the compromise and communication does, from what I can tell, if two people are willing to go there and meet each other halfway then it would seem that the avoidance of future conflict or worsening present conflict would be reduced.

Sometimes unilateral unwillingness to lose your peace can be very powerful in dissipating conflict. Taking a stand against the contention by standing strong in your willingness to listen. Conflict, Communication and Compromise seem to fit together very well after all. Especially if you want to move forward.

Being positive is good, especially when you compare it to being negative. Being a realist is maybe even more relatable for some. As life deals tough times we can appreciate and deepen our gratitude for the great times. As life brings great times, we appreciate and fully grasp all that they are. We see great times differently and instead of “those were the days” maybe these are the days as well?Ever hear someone say, “ It could always be worse”? I have. I have said it. It does seem to help frame context.

Life is absolutely great but life is also absolutely challenging. We can appear to be tough and durable and other times we can appear to be less than. Where does the truth sit? Maybe perceptions are less important. What matters is grabbing on to the good as we find it. In a wave of uncertainty we can still reach for gratitude.

Accompanying our tough times with more gratitude can be helpful. Things that help me are praying, getting in the word and helping others. Witnessing and listening to those who are also struggling or even struggling more than we are can give us more gratitude as well. Verbalizing all the things we are grateful for or making a list are two ways we can be in gratitude. I have a wall hanger that says “Gratitude turns what we have into enough”. I appreciate this reminder.

One thing i have noticed is a very real possibility that people really enjoy a restoration. When you think about the idea of a restoration you see the origin of the concept of being restored. Being restored ..recreated, made over, old to the new etc. How about taking an old car and making it look beautiful again? How about a home, a “ fixer upper” and putting some TLC into it making it look amazing again. What about some hobbies that people enjoy such as restoring old furniture, and landscaping- one of my personal favorites. The idea of clearing out the old, starting fresh- starting over. I think perhaps it makes us feel good to be in the presence and witness restorations. Almost like we are wired to notice and value this. Why is this so?

How about our personal lives? How about the mistakes behind us, the bad decisions, dysfunction or regrets. Sin leaves us feeling disconnected and inadequate and leaves us feeling empty and regretful. Shameful and broken. The good news is we can be a part of the ultimate restoration and recreation. Something that goes above an interesting idea or our finest hobby where we get to be a part of putting something old and broken and left behind back together again. I’m talking about putting our faith and hope and future in Jesus Christ.

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16, ESV)

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. (2 Corinthians 5:17, ESV)

In this life there are usually things that invite stress. Stress filled things in different stages of life. The stress that may concern you when you’re a young student may be centered around a test or quizzes or getting into the college of your choice.  When you’re in college much of the same is there except paying bills along with early adult financial responsibility are arriving, yet all are manageable day-to-day stressors. Take caution. But don’t let the stress take you

But then we step into another area where the reality of life hits such as losing loved ones, divorce, having kids, custody situations, stress around if you make the right choice and with your career and my spouse, who is that going to be?  Health problems, medical problems, learning to let go of things, all sorts of different levels of problems that exist. It is like as life unfolds and plays out we have evolving stress that will surely test us.

As aging adults we have to shift into learning to let our children branch out, learning to trust that we’ve done a well enough job to release them to the world. The threat of health problems and things like getting a will done, life insurance and where am I going to end up in my later years? These middle-age questions. Then there’s the end of life stages how do I find purpose in my a final years? What does golden years mean and why retire at all as long as your doing something you love? Life moves. Don’t allow Stress to crystallize you. If so get ready for wrinkles and brooding. If you can turn it around maybe you hold off the wrinkles a little longer.

Still, it’s important that I say all of this because no matter what stage you’re in, the consistent factor is that there will be stress, there will be challenges, old challenges falling off and old challenges keeping a bit of a grip. New challenges. There will be problems, there will be questions, but the key is in all of that, within all of that, in all the craziness and unknowns, the fear-based apprehensions and thought patterns.. Please do one thing in the twists of all the stresses. Find the good times, find those precious spots of peace, the world can’t take them from you and you know when and where you have them. Even if its looking back to better times while you wait on the next ones, protect your peace. Find reasons to smile and shift to gratitude. Remember that someone else might have more stress than you and even shifting your focus to them may allow you to find relief in your stress. Remember to give it to the Lord and seek him. Look to others for both support and to be supportive.

Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. (Galatians 6:2, ESV)

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. (1 Peter 5:6-7 ESV)

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28, ESV)

As a young adult I noticed the world was ripe with options. So many options no matter what direction you looked. How do you know what to choose? How do you know what’s best? What is the best for you and how do you know that if you do choose something something better isn’t supposed to be there? The problem with too many options if the field is too wide is it can cause hesitation and indecision. Consider choosing a path or a career or a job, a major in college. Some young adults are simply not ready to make that choice yet they are thrust into the arena to make the choice. It’s important to know that by not making a choice at all this is actually making a choice.

When making a decision is uncomfortable not making a decision becomes comfortable. If you wait too long the realization will be there to hit you square in the face and remind you that life is starting to pass you by. Your own indecision based on the field being too wide is now closing in on you. What started out as too many options now feels like there are few. Is it too late to finally find a job that makes you happy? Is it too late to finally think about marriage? Is it too late to finally ( fill in the blank)? No. As long as you are here you can do it. Take time if you need it but be productive in the time you take. If not, 5 years becomes 10. 10 becomes 15 and next you aren’t young anymore. To just assume you’ll figure it out later is not enough. It’s important to be proactive during any pauses. Otherwise time, life and even golden opportunity may pass you by.

Tomorrow is a comfort zone sometimes.  Always putting things off is a habit. I know this personally . It can be intentional procrastination or unintentional.  “We will look at that tomorrow”. ” I think i will get that checked out ..tomorrow. But wait, it’s only 1pm and we could do it TODAY! 

Embracing the present is great when we can do it. By living in the moment being more assertive we can slowly work to reverse this habit of procrastination. Taking ownership of this habit can be the first step in correcting it.

 The same habit of NOT living in the present can exist as looking backwards too much. This also can steal the moment and even opportunities of today… the present. By focusing on the past we lose the present. By focusing on tomorrow we also lose the present. I’ve always appreciated Matthew 6:34 which reads “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. (Matthew 6:34, ESV). Here is another in Proverbs, “Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring”. (Proverbs 27:1, ESV)

Do it today, avoid the comfort of procrastination, embrace the new. Get going.  Live now, Live well!

For those that are sentimental, you may understand what I’m about to say. For those of you that are, I hope that if nothing else you enjoy my perspective on what I consider a powerful appreciation. 

I’ve always enjoyed pictures. Never really knew why, but there was something that was very appreciative and truthful about them. It’s true we look back at a picture and can almost feel what we were feeling or think what we were thinking. As we get older, we may look at pictures and feel ambivalence. A bitter sweetness that serves as a reminder that those times are gone and yet is a satisfaction in trying to reconnect with the memory.

Pictures undiscovered can deliver emotions on the spot. At the very least they are a reminder or a memory. At most maybe they are powerful and withstand the test of time and like a video can re-capture the moment’s gone by.  For some, pictures might be painful and something to avoid. I can understand that and respect that. 

Either way, we can’t underestimate how authentic they are. Today much like people, they are lost in their phone. I don’t know of many people that still develop them and put them in a photo album or display. For most of us they are by the thousand and stored within the storage capacity of the phone. 

Pictures offer me more good than they do negative. I encourage you to evaluate the importance of a single moment in time, a memory. If nothing else they can be left behind for our loved ones to have a chance to look at. 

The ironic part is I don’t particularly enjoy being in pictures, or having my picture taken nearly as much as I do looking at them, reflecting, pausing, and appreciating the days gone by. They say a picture is worth 1000 words.  I would add one more… Powerful. 

The young don’t know that it’s waiting on them

while the old know exactly what it is

One day you wake up and stumble on gray

The top of the mountain might be early 30’s, which seems old enough to know you’re not sitting in youth filled mistakes yet still showing the world you’re not old yet

You hear about the middle and you shrug it off

You may or may not realize you’re likely in the prime of life

10 years pass by, age starts to feels like it should and you sit and do the math and wonder where it went

50 is closer than 35.

They call it midlife

Some call it a crisis

The years add up

old is waiting on young

As the years fly